Sunday, September 23, 2012

Guess who's decided that it was time to look back into the maw of Hell?

That's right, your one and only No One Of Consequence.

NOOC's back, bitches.

Course, I have elected to go with the name I use for everything else, Kfrunt Rfrunt.

Now, what would this rage filled guy who left the world of darkness and tentacles behind be doing back all of the sudden?

To put it simply: no fucking clue.

To put it not so simply: I've been just a little bit more paranoid lately, due to a rather... odd sequence of events.

Ten days ago, I was waiting for my parents to pick me up from work. It had been a long day filled with numerous problems caused by various people (both customers and a few co-workers) and I was on edge because of it. Neither of my parents responded to my texts so they were late in coming to get me. It was around 10 PM when I suddenly started thinking about this blog again. I don't know why I did it, but I did. I thought about what had gone on here, my... issues that I had to work out with a few visits to a therapist, and the fact that I could've sworn I saw someone next to the tree about 40 yards in front of me. I told myself it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but I was still shaken a little. I started remembering things that had gone down before and what life was like while I pretty much lived on this blog. Around 10:15 my mom shows up and takes me home. I stay up for a few more hours and go to bed round 2ish. I can't sleep because now my head is filled with thoughts of 'ohgod its back' and all that other shit. I managed to discount those long enough to get to sleep though, but it took a couple hours.

I woke up the next day and checked my email to find a message from a guy named 'apocriptein'. He sent me and fuck ton of others a link to his youtube channel which I could instantly recognize as Slenderfuck oriented channel. I promptly told him to leave me the fuck alone, and he has so far.

Still the combination of the two events left me in a heightened state of awareness. I am now listening harder, looking around more thoroughly, and generally... being paranoid. Yeah, I know it's stupid to do regress, and I've been doing a bang up job telling myself it's just in my head, but... I mean it's hard to shake off the feeling of correlation between these two things. I usually don't sleep well, but now I sit in bed, staring into the darkness, wondering if I'm looking at the bookshelf or the silhouette of a tall man.

I don't want to be a part of this anymore. I don't want to regress into my insanity, making my life a living hell, and potentially fucking up my future.

...I don't want to be back here, but I am...

This brings me back to the original question.

Why am I back?

And again, I don't know.

Maybe I'll be able to handle this paranoia thing better if I just type it out for the world to see.

Maybe I'll get a better look into how my mind is thinking about things, and be better equipped to reveal the lies my mind is making.

Maybe I'm just going back into my old ways, regardless, and I'm destined to start walking out in forests, hallucinating and hunting down the boogieman.

Maybe... maybe its real this time.

I don't know.

And I'm not sure if I want to find out.

For better or for worse, I'm back.

Brace yourself for rage, paranoia, and a lot of second guessing myself.

It's gonna be a blast.


(no more titles, I think. I kinda used the crap outta that gimmick back in the 'glory days')

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