Monday, January 21, 2013

He doesn't exist

Blahblahblah, I haven't been on in a while. Shit happened and I'll tell you about the good stuff when I have a chance to calm down from what I discovered today.

Dr. Traner doesn't exist.

I realized that I had an appointment with him soon, but the only person who would have been able to take me then would be my sister, so she needed the address. It suddenly clicked in my head that I didn't know it myself and went to look it up.

I searched his name.

I searched the hospital.

I searched everything I could think of.


Confused, I decided to call them, but quickly realized I didn't know their number. I asked my mom and she gave it to me, but when I called I got the automated message of "the number you are trying to call is not operational".

I dropped the phone. I ran to my room. I dove in bed. I screamed and cried.

I have been going to a hospital that doesn't seem to exist, to visit a doctor who was supposed to be a pretty well-known psych. Yet, I can't find a fucking trace of him.

I'm still trying to calm down, but I can't figure out how.

If anyone can help me track him down and prove he's real, please do. I'm too scared to talk to my parents about it...

...Ohgod... They had been taking me... They knew about him, but if he doesn't exist and the hospital isn't listed anywhere... then...

Who was Dr. Traner, and how did my parents find out about him...

I'm gonna go to bed now and try to sleep... I feel as though my insides are about to explode...