Sunday, February 20, 2011

everything breaks

It's true, you know.

Never have I seen such a ferocious storm of shit like this.

Even when I was in the Labyrinth.

Even when I was searching for Slenderfuck earlier today.

Don't get me wrong; those are extremely shitty things, what with the hallucinations and the fact that I couldn't find Slendy, but knew he was there.

Hell man... This is is crazy shit.

Everything seems to have fallen apart in my temporary absence.

Let's see; Ava, Reach, and Tony stormed the fort and got fucked in the ass, Inky got his fingers chopped and is no longer a blogger,  Frap's shit got taken over, and it seems like everyone everywhere is diving head first into the deepest shit they can find.


........ ........ ........

alright... might as well tell you guys what the fuck happened to me. not that it really matters.... you guys arent going to care anyway. seeing how apparently everyone just goes "fuck your shit, you are boring"...

i wrote slendy a note and put it in the tree outside my window. it said "Hey Slendy, we should talk" and i signed as No One Of Consequence. it was gone in the morning.

so yeah. remember how i was all "ima talk to slendy on our date"? yeah well, he didnt show up. yup.

i got stood up by an eldritch abomination.

worst feeling ever.

but whatever.

on saturday i was up at the church and i decided "HEY i should just go looking for him!" so i did. i took a small foray into the trees next to the church and started to talk to the trees.



im not crazy.

well, nothing happened. yup. completely wasted my time.

yeah, and then today i decided (before youth group started at the church) "HEY! LETS DO IT AGAIN"

so i went out again into the trees. this time i was more successful. after a bit of wandering, i came across a pile of random metal objects. nothing important, just some old desks, maybe a washing machine, not anything of note really. looked around a bit more and saw a giant septic tank.

with a giant red stain on it.

i stared at it for a moment and decided that was an adventure for a different time, seeing how by this time i was actually trespassing. ill go back sometime and try to get pics.

so i was heading back when something caught my eye. a white plastic bag caught on a tree. i walked over to it, looking around all paranoid and shit and opened it. nothing inside. i was bummed out.

and when i turned around i saw a lawn chair, a small wooden stump, a large piece of carpet, a couple bottles of alcohol and a man.

they werent there before.

anyway, i looked at him curiously for a moment until he finally noticed me standing there. his face was gruff looking, black beard, rough features, and eyes that had seen too much. his receding hair line and semi wrinkled face put him at around 40-50 in my book. he was smiling one of those "yeah im a kind awesome dude and there is no way you can disprove that" smiles. for some reason, it didnt unnerve me as badly as it should have.

he was just sitting there, smiling away at me for a moment, until he motioned for me to join him. he offered the wooden stump as a seat and i took it. now dont get me wrong! my mom taught me to never trust strangers like this, but there was just something... wrong... and yet so right about this man. his unnatural serenity and aura of kindness. it was... too much.

but yeah, i sat down next to him and he began to talk.

"so who are you?" his voice was just as gruff as his face.

i felt there was no other way to answer than "No One Of Consequence" and so i did just that. this was apparently amusing to him because he started to laugh at what i said.

"so you are him then?" that scared me. how did he know about me? i didnt question it though, the whole situation was too... serene... granted, he never gave me a chance to respond to that, because he just kept on going. "you know, i went through the same things you did. the hallucinations, the loss of sanity, the constant questioning of what is real and what is not. hell, i still do that last one. but i can let you in on a little secret about how to beat this thing, NOOC. would you like to know?" (side note: i think i mightve gotten some of what he said wrong, but this is close to what he said.)

i nodded, showing that i wanted to know. and i did. i assumed he was talking about slendy and all that shenanigans. and he was.

"well, you dont have to know everything, or believe anything. you just have to show that you wont stop. you know how to do that right?"

"i think so"

"dont think. just do" god i felt like i was talking to yoda... "you should try it out sometime. like now." he suddenly stood and stared down at me. he was really tall. not slendy tall, but this guy mustve been like 6' 4-5". im only like 5' 10". but that wasnt important, not really....

anyway, i turned around at that second and stood up. there was someone else. some guy in a a light jacket, a Wolfmother t-shirt, and some jeans. his shoes were what appeared to be combat boots. he had on some thick rimmed glasses and he was rather handsome, and around my age too.

i stared at him for a moment before turning to see that the man and all his stuff was gone, save the wooden stump that i had been sitting on. i only know consider the possibility of having hallucinated the man.

i return to looking at the new guy. he hadnt moved. just standing there like a statue.

i called out to him. "hey. who are you?"

his face lit up with a really fucking sadistic smile before responding. "my father wishes to tell you that your note was greatly appreciated."

i remember rather vividly that i thought "fuck" at that second. but i replied rather calmly. "well, where is he? i said that i wanted to talk to him, didnt i?"

"he will be meeting you in a while. right now, he has more important things to do than commune with someone as unimportant as you" yeah, even the fucking proxies know im unimportant. yippie...

"thanks. i really appreciate that." i knew that he was likely referring to the storm on the fort that ava, reach and tony were doing today. (god... ava needs to get rescued now? can we ever catch a fucking break?) "i thought i was one of those few special snowflakes that he would try to recruit into his perverse army"

he pretty much cackled. it was annoying as fucking hell. "special snowflake huh? yeah he wants you, but thats just because you can get shit done! just like me and the rest of his children."

that particular statement made me think he wasnt just a regular proxy. they dont usually have statements like that, you know all laden with things that dont exactly line up perfectly with the proxy thought process. this guy had free will and an opinion. it was at that moment that i was fairly certain i had a revenant on my hands.

i kinda... snapped at that moment though. you know, with my signature temper that i apparently have. (i dunno, apparently shelby think i get angry too easily.)

i start to yell. "fuck his children! i wont have a part of it! take your damn family and shove it up your ass! all i want is that slender bastard to show up so i can ask him [data expunged]" (yeah, i dont wanna tell you guys what i wanna ask him)

"well too damn bad, you pathetic worm. you are going to join us eventually. but now, for the reason i am here." he got all quiet and serious here. he pulled something out from his pocket and threw it at my feet. I knelt down and picked it up. it was a shotgun shell. i stared at it, and then at him.

"what the hell? what are you trying to tell me?"

he got that sadistic smile again. "ill give you three guesses as to who ate the lead on the other end of that shell"

i couldnt think of a proper answer or even what the hell was being proven with it. i stared at him like he was a crazy person. "i dont know... what is the point of showing me this?"

he wagged his finger at me and tapped his foot. "thats not the right attitude, matthew" god... hearing my name from his mouth was the single most disgusting thing ive ever heard in my life. i cringed when he said that. "but whatever, that was just a bonus for this meeting. i come with an offer. you can tell me right now that you want this all to stop and i can get your memory wiped and you can go back to your normal life. or you can go through hell and back again to accomplish absolutely nothing."

ill admit, the deal seemed pretty good to me at that moment. but i knew it would be the cop out, as well as that it was likely it wouldnt actually end for me. it could never end. "no. i cant give up. not when i havent yet done anything."

his smile faded and he walked up to me, looking really angry. "you just made yourself a powerful enemy" he spat at me.

i just laughed at him and told him how i was a powerful enemy indeed. that really pissed him off and he stormed away, unable to compete with my sharper tongue.

i now feel incredibly stupid, seeing how i pretty much talked back to a revenant who couldve killed me without a second thought. but lets face it, he shouldve killed me, so i think he was on orders to not do that.

but yeah, nothing else happened. i kept the shotgun shell and went back into the church and had a good time at youth group. no one was the wiser, which is how it should be.

but anyway... i got sleep to catch up on and a head full of depressing thoughts. so until next time, my few caring followers: i bid thee adue.

The Id's Ego/The Mouse/The Philosopher/The Crazy Fuck/The Strategist

Stay Sane, Stay Alive


  1. Little mouse, what's the difference between dying blind and dying awake?

    The cat is coming, little mouse, and its collar has no warning bell.

    But I don't doubt that, for you perhaps, there might be a happy ending...if only in your head.

  2. you know, for someone who speaks so cryptically, you get nothing done you pathetic piece of shit.

    maybe you should be worrying about how an insubordinate revenant is getting more done than you are.

    and your cat analogy is shot down by the fact that i cant be killed.

    i. never. die.

    there will be a happy ending for everyone EXCEPT me. i know my place, and it is not the happy one. my place is Hell, so that others can thrive in bliss.

    and besides, you are taking the mouse title out of context. i got out of the labyrinth that had trapped me as a mouse trying to find the cheese in a maze. granted, it came at a cost, but i still got out.

    and the cheese is delicious. no cat can ever stop the mouse who knows the path.

    i am the jerry to your tom.

  3. I wonder if you speak to Larsson or to me? Well, no matter. It is too bad that, although you see the truth, it is so dark for could join the ranks of He That Is, you know. It would be fun.

  4. im sure it would be just like it would be fun. you know, killing, destroying, and general douche baggery.

    sounds like loads of fun.

    look, you piece of shit, i dont have an interest in you stupid little butt fuck club. id rather take my chances with the wild idiocracy of humans than mess with a stupid cult that just circle jerks all day and tries to scare us.

  5. I have never once thought of your blog as boring, Matthew. Although I don't think I count in your mind as part of "everyone", but nonetheless.

    I'm very glad you made it out of that encounter unscathed.

  6. Only you, NOOC, could Cluster F Bomb a Revenant and get away with it.

  7. How are you even sure this exists? Slender Man is a little too crazy to be real, don't you think? Well, obviously not for you...

    This is way to weird to exist. How do I know you people aren't fatties watching sci-fi in a basement munching on crackers all day just writing down random things?

  8. @Ouroboros; i guess a thank you is in order then. and i am rather surprised that i didnt die, in retrospect. also: think i might start calling you Wesker.

    @Kaiju; pff. i think we all could. its just a matter of plucking up the courage enough to do it.

    @Waloose; look, i technically AM sitting on my ass eating shit right now, seeing how nothing besides that little encounter has happened. but thats beside the point.

    i would advise you to do one of two things:

    1)shut the fuck up

    2)shut the fuck up

    no one wants to hear you bitch and moan about how you think the slenderman isnt real. and No One wants you to know that you are being a bitch monkey with no life if you have nothing better to do with your time than bash us Runners/Fighters/Hiders/Researchers.

  9. oh shit!

    I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE SHOTGUN SHELL IS PRETTY DAMN OLD LOOKING. the metal bit is all corroded away and the color is all faded out. Hell, there was a plant growing inside it, small, but it was still there.

    will get a pic up eventually... hopefully... maybe... yeah... ill do it now actually.